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Autobiography is Hard
This is not written for a Western, queer or queer-friendly audience. This is written for Japanese people who are on the fence about how they feel about gay people. I am not the intended audience of this work, so my criticisms are heavily biased.
The "moral" of this autobiography is simple: "gay people are just like anyone else! We deserve rights too!". It's not anything revelatory, radical, or frankly interesting. It's a true story though, and presents the author's opinion. I think it's presented well enough, and if this is the autobiography that is changing the public discourse around gay rights in Japan, then I'm all for it.
One quibble I had was that the dialogue seemed artificially eloquent. The author is reconstructing conversations from decades ago, why are they so detailed? Why is the author able to present his case in clear and eloquent terms while in the heat of the moment, or while drunk, etc? I sense a little bit of selective editing: "this is what I meant to say", "this is the best version of what I argued".