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Language-wise, I would say this isn't great for learning unless your focus is Kansai-ben. It took a while to get used to, but Kansai-ben does follow the same logical patterns as standard Japanese. The language is quite casual.
Story-wise, this was a really interesting start. I like that you know from the very beginning that something is strange and off. I can definitely feel Yoshiki's anxieties and fears as I read. I anticipated that there would be a cliffhanger at the end but I didn't know just how compelling it would be!
For those who have read it: that chest scene was wild, right?!